One Tweaked Ice Bag
by The Cowardly Christian
Summary: Major AU! What if Wendy had found the journal? What if Ford wasn't the Author? What if Mabel had been incapacitated for the rest of the summer? What would happen to the adventure then? (this will be continued in 'Tales of the Falls')
1. Chapter 1

One Tweaked Ice Bag

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 **ATTENTION EVERYONE! I'll be briefly breaking my Hiatus and having a Halloween contest. I'll be posting Halloween themed stories, horror themed, or one's that end with a cliff-hanger! The story that gets the most reviews, will be the one I update on Halloween!(and maybe a few other surprises. heh. heh.)**

 **And don't forget to check out my new "Shake Up the Falls" Challenge!**

…...

Deep within the darkest abyss...Slenderman played a game...

 **BOOK ROULETTE!** Screamed the Eldritch Abomination as he threw multiple books into the air and blasted them. As the pages fell like confetti..Slenderman snatched them up and randomly pieced the words together...

 **Let's see...Create living fork boy?...Nah...Figure out a way to solve the Middle East crisis and then tell no one?...been there, did that...Make Wendy a main character?...Hmmm...**

…...

It was a quiet day at the mystery Shack...until Grunkle Stan came into the room.

"All right, all right, look alive, people. I need someone to go hammer up these signs in the spooky part of the forest." States the old man gruffly.

"Not it!" Shouted Dipper. "Not it!" Shouted Mabel. "Uh, also not it." Said Soos.

"Nobody asked you, Soos." Said Grunkle Stan flatly. "I know, and I'm comfortable with that." States the man child as he eats a chocolate bar.

While this went on, an invisible shadow snuck it's way into the room...

Stan then turns to the slacker red head at the register. "Wendy, I need you to put up this sign!" Shouts Stan.

Wendy then lazily pretends to reach for the sign. "I would, but I, ugh, can't, ugh, reach it, ugh..."

Mabel and Dipper felt a chill go down their spine as the shadow slipped past them and made it's way-

"I'd fire all of you if I could-

 **slup**

-Right into Grunkle Stans body!

-WHAT AM I SAYING!? OF COURSE I CAN FIRE YOU ALL!" Screamed Grunkle Stan suddenly much to everyone's shock and dismay.

He then points a finger at Wendy. "AND I'LL START WITH YOU GIRLY! IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR BUTT IN GEAR AND HANG UP THESE POSTERS!"

Before Wendy could say anything the posters were slapped into her arms and she was forcibly shoved out of the room...leaving the rest of the gang stunned. "What the Frack just happened here?" Said a freaked out Mabel...

…..

"Okay! Okay! I'm going!" Shouts Wendy as Stan pushes her out and slams the door behind her. _What is with Mr. Pines? Is he on a new medication or something?_ Thinks a confused and annoyed Wendy as she begins to walk away from the door-

 **RIP!**

 _Huh, I didn't know girls wore boxers._ Thought a flustered Dipper as he watched through the window as Wendy's pants got caught and ripped off completely on the door. A mortified Wendy tries to get back in...only to find the door locked!

Dipper quickly signals Wendy to come over to the window...so he can give him his pants.

Wendy flustered. "Wow...thanks Dipper." She states gratefully. "But what about you?"

Dipper chuckles nervously. "Oh, I'll be fine. I-

"HEY THERE SWEET CHEEKS! NICE VIEW OF THE MOON!" Shouts someone inside the Shack just before a bunch of catcalls and camera flashes started.

 _Well...I picked a bad day to go commando._ Thinks Dipper as he flusters, grabs a pillow to cover himself, and begins to walk away from the window-

But not before a grateful Wendy whispers thank you and gives a him a light peck on the check...

Suddenly the catcalls didn't seem so bad...

...

Meanwhile, a somewhat amnesiac and disoriented Stan was vomiting into a waste basket. "Whoa...what got into me?" He asks before vomiting again...

…...Later...

Dipper was pricing-up the merchandise when Wendy came back looking through a weird journal...and laughing?

"Wendy, what's so funny?" Asked Dipper curiously.

Wendy smirked. "Some nut wrote this crazy journal claiming that Gravity Falls has 'a dark supernatural underbelly'." She snorts dismissively.

"Yeah, right! what a crock! The only thing 'supernatural' in this rinky-dink town is Stan's ability to keep this death trap of a Shack in business."

Without another word, she walks away while tossing the journal into the garbage. Dipper, his curiosity getting the better of him. Waits for her to leave and reaches into the-

 **PAUSE**

The world froze as Slenderman looked down at the scene. **Okay...that didn't work...looks like a more 'aggressive' stance is in order.**

With a snap of his fingers he rewinds time to back before Wendy finds the Journal...and with yet another snap of his finger...he summons said Journal to his hands and makes a few 'changes' to it...

…Later...

Dipper was pricing-up the merchandise when Wendy came back looking through a weird journal...AND CRYING!?

A concerned Dipper ran after her into a nearby storage room...

"Wendy...what's wrong?" Asked Dipper sympathetically. Without a word, a tearful Wendy slides the weird journal over to Dipper...

Dipper cautiously picks it up...and turns to the first page...his eyes widen...taped to the inside cover is a picture of a young Wendy being held by who Dipper could only assume was her mother...and bellow that...

 _ **Property of Mary Corduroy...**_

….Later...

"Unfortunately, my suspicions have been confirmed. I'm being watched. I must hide this book before he finds it. Remember: in Gravity Falls there is no one you can trust"... Says Dipper to himself as he reads the last BLOODSTAINED page...

A now deathly pale Dipper looked up at his crush as she sobs...he didn't know what to say...what could he say? How could ANYONE, anywhere...make this right?...

"You know what's really messed up?" Asked Wendy between sobs. "Not once since she vanished from my life have I ever talked, said anything, mentioned, or even thought about her! And if not for this I probably would've KEPT doing that for the rest of the Summer! What kind of horrible person am I!?" She screams.

Not knowing what else to do...Dipper leaned over to give her a comforting hug-

CRASH!

HALLO!

Shouts Mabel dressed as a clown.

"Hey, guys! You'll never-

MABEL NOT NOW! Screams an irritated Dipper.

Mabel takes one look at the scene...and slowly backs out of the room without another word...

Dipper goes back to giving Wendy a hug...after a moment...she hugs back...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**

 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	2. Chapter 2

One tweaked Ice Bag Ch. 2

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

 **...**

 ** **ENJOY THIS BONUS!****

 ** **HAPPY HALLOWEEN!****

 **…** **...**

Dipper had never felt more helpless...he was the guy! He was supposed to keep girls from crying! Keep them happy...he felt like such a failure...

He looked again through the journal again to see if there was something...ANYTHING that could help Wendy...

Slenderman chuckled invisibly from nearby as he drinks Wendy's savory tears. **Alright boy...you've amused me...I'll throw you a bone...**

Slenderman snaps his fingers and adds a page to it...

Dipper suddenly finds a page for a potion: _**Let's you speak from the heart...Guaranteed to make SOMEONE feel better**_ ** _._**

It was a little weird...but the sound of Wendy's tears made Dipper swallow his skepticism as he got to work...

 **...One hasty gathering of ingredients later...**

 _We'll...here goes nothing._ Says Dipper to himself as he downs the potion...and starts to sing...

 **I can see tears filling your eyes  
And I know where they're coming from  
They're coming from a heart that's broken in two**

Wendy's eye widened...his singing left her speechless...Well, that and the fact that Dipper had turned into a purple elephant...

 **By what you don't see  
The person in the mirror  
Doesn't look like the magazine  
Oh, but when I look at you it's clear to me that...**

And now he was a feces throwing pink chimp...

 **I can see the fingerprints of God  
When I look at you  
I can see the fingerprints of God  
And I know it's true **

Now he was a clown uncontrollably slapping himself with fishes...

 **You're a masterpiece  
That all creation quietly applauds  
And you're covered with the fingerprints of God **

Now Dipper was a bouncing ball covered with the words: "IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT"

 **Never has there been and never again  
Will there be another you  
Fashioned by God's hand  
And perfectly planned  
To be just who you are **

Now he was a tipsy giant, orange spider...

 **And what He's been creating  
Since the first beat of your heart  
Is a living breathing priceless work of art...**

Now he was a constipated Daisy...

 **I can see the fingerprints of God  
When I look at you  
I can see the fingerprints of God  
And I know it's true **

Now he had a Zebra shoved up his cake hole...

 **You're a masterpiece  
That all creation quietly applauds  
And you're covered with the fingerprints of God **

Now he had rabid squirrels in his pants!

 **Just look at you  
You're a wonder in the making  
Oh, and God's not through, no  
In fact, He's just getting started... **

Now he was polka-doted armadillo...

 **I can see the fingerprints of God  
When I look at you  
I can see the fingerprints of God  
And I know it's true **

Now he was a firework buzzing around the room!

 **You're a masterpiece  
That all creation quietly applauds  
And you're covered with the fingerprints of God...**

After the explosion, the song ended, and soot-covered, naked Dipper fell into Wendy's lap...while she was laughing her head off at the whole thing...

 _Well...the important thing is that she's happy..._ Thinks Dipper with a smile...

...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **Song is** **"Fingerprints Of God"** **by 'STEVEN CURTIS CHAPMAN' and was suggested by 'guest'**

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**

 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	3. Chapter 3

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **AN: There, apparently has been some confusion. I am still continuing this story. I'm just continuing it in 'Tales of the falls' ;it's easier for me to keep track and organize that way.**

 **As for the rate of updating; that depends on real life, inspiration, will of my lord and savior Jesus Christ...and bribing me with 'Shake up the falls chapters.**

 **Yes, for every ONE chapter of my 'Tales of the Falls' challenge you make, I'll have THREE stories of YOUR choosing updated.**

 **...as long as they follow the requirement below:**

 **SHAKE UP THE FALLS: CHALLENGE!**

 **Primary Objective:**

 **Tired of fanfictions just copying cannon and not doing anything really different? Well, I am!**

 **So I say we do a 'deconstruction' of Dipper and Mabels 'sibling bond'! Through the following-**

 **(BEGIN FLASH-FORWARD)**

 ** _A forty-something year old Dipper enters his parents house and takes off his fast-food uniform with a sigh as he looks down at his meager paycheck._**

 ** _A forty-something Mabel (wearing a crazy sweater and surrounded by dozens of cats); looks up._**

 **" _Hey Dipping sauce! Guess what!? I made a 50 ft butterfly made of comics...which I then set ablaze! I'm still the goddess of destruction!...also the police are here again to fine us for burning stuff without a permit...also for unintended arson damage to the neighbors house"_**

 **" _Wait, what!?" Shouts Dipper just as a policeman steps out of the shadows and snatches up Dipper's paycheck._**

 **" _Ah, come on man! I worked overtime the whole week at the drive-through to earn that!" Shouts Dipper. But the Officer had already left._**

 ** _Dipper feels a drop of water on his head...the ceiling was leaking..._**

 **" _I also created a new water slide for Waddles!"_**

 ** _CRASH!_**

 ** _The ceiling gives way as a giant hog crashes down and breaks the floor; water soaking everything!_**

 ** _The cats scatter in panic; breaking various household objects as they do so._**

 ** _Mabel laughs at this. "Ah, they're cute when their crazy!" She shouts as she takes a picture of them._**

 ** _Dipper sighs as he goes to check the emergency fund...only to find it empty..._**

 **" _Hey Dipping sauce! Can we have Pizza tonight!? Duck-tective will be on!" Shouts the ever cheerful yet oblivious Mabel._**

 ** _Dipper just hangs his head...and cries..._**

 ** _(FLASH-FORWARD END)_**

 **What I just showed you was a peek into a future after Gravity falls, where Mabel no longer needs to fear growing up...because she doesn't have to! Why would she need to when she has a pushover brother who is willing to sacrifice everything: never getting married, never being independent, never having a life of his own to make her happy?!(in other words: An Enabler/Co-dependent relationship)  
**

 **You can give this vision to whoever you want: Dipper, Mabel, Wendy, Pacifica, Stan, Ford, Soos, etc- You can have it sent to them at any time in the series, or have them sent back in time, or do a Peggy Sue! And have them use this knowledge to shatter cannon!**

 **Also Bill Cipher's threat needs to be taken more seriously!(I'm talking actual full-on Armageddon preparation after his first appearance!) And they need to take Gideon seriously when he sends the creepy letters and hosts his TV show(You don't have to kill him, but the Pines Family have to at least Neutralize him...or make some kind preparation to fight him when he breaks out). EXAMPLE: Mable is forced to take Dipper more seriously and not mess with him to survive or The realization that she and her loved one's might die at the end of the summer make Wendy not so hung up on the whole 'age gap' with Dipper and goes out with him.  
**

 **Also, the hero's need to be proactive! When Gideon starts sending creepy letters and making television broadcasts, they need to take care of him(kill or neutralize; either works). All that matters is that they strike first at the first sign of trouble; And don't just have them wait around and do nothing!  
**

 **NO LEMONS, LIMES, YAOI, YURI OR INCEST PLEASE! I HATE THAT STUFF...  
**

 **Secondary objective: the following episodes can't end as they did in cannon!(especially if your doing a Crossover!) If you want to kill Wendy and have Pacifica be the rebound fine. Or you could have Wendy give Dipper a chance after saving him from ghosts...have them go on a couple dates(this can even happen off-screen if it's easier)...Wendy decides it's not going to work...and then land Pacifica on the rebound(that works too) Just do something different!(conversely, you could also just give Pacifica Tyrone and Dipper could have Wendy...just saying...everyone would be happy...)**

 **"The Inconveniencing".(it annoyed me that no one did anything with Wendy's 'stare at wall and rethink everything' statement, I'd appreciate some help there)  
**

 **Time Travelers Pig(call it semantics if you must, but I would never let a girl get hurt just to save a pig. Mabel's just going to have to suck it up and learn she can't have everything)(I'd recommend using Steven Universes 'The Answer' as a template(or it's Aesop at least)) The ending can't be cannon! Especially if your doing a crossover!(Endings where BOTH Waddles and Wendy are saved are also okay)  
**

 **Fight Fighters(none of this band-aid solution 'hate each other in silence' stuff! I want to see an aftermath! Have Wendy find out the truth and be mad at both of them if you have to! Just do something different!**

 **Little Dipper(I would prefer you just skip this episode entirely to be honest) (Or better yet, use Steven Universes 'Too short to Ride' episode as a template)(But if you do, do this episode...skip the 'twins idiotically Argue over the crystal instead of saving themselves and their home from Gideon' Scene. Have Dipper punch out Mabel and use the crystal. Or have Mabel punch out Dipper to use the crystal! Just do something different! Especially if it's Crossover! In that case have someone else punch them and use the crystal!)Considering what Dipper just sacrificed for Mable in Time travelers pig...I've always felt that Mable was more then a bit ungrateful and mean in this episode...  
**

 **Boyz Crazy(I actually have no problem with the ending here believe it or not, but I was annoyed that it was rendered somewhat meaningless since there was no aftermath(between Dipper and Wendy anyway). So...you know...go do your thing. I would recommend using Steven universes 'week of Sardonyx' Arc as a template)**

 **Into the Bunker((take a deep breath)look, you can handle the shipping however you want. But you have to have Mabel equally punished for the trouble(it is her fault they were locked in there in the first place after all). (Preferably where Wendy and Dipper are mad at Mabel and refuse to forgive her.)(their also needs to be an aftermath, Dipper having an honest, real conversation with Wendy about how he still has feelings for her and where they go from here. I'd recommend using Steven Universe episodes 'Mr Greg' or 'we need to talk' as templates)(also please just skip 'Roadside attraction' entirely, please)(if your doing a crossover, and bring someone else down there with them, you have to have them stop Mabel from locking Dipper up!  
**

 **Northwest mansion Noir:(Groan) so much wasted potential. Pacifica's parents just forgive her? Nothing comes from the shipping? Pacifica was nearly killed by Wendy's ancestor, and nothing comes from that?)(P.S. I'm aware that a lot of people have actually fixed that in their fics(for which I'm grateful), I just feel that it needs to be said)**

 **Mabel and Dipper v.s. the future(you do what you want with this...just don't make things so ridiculously one-sided and place all the blame on Dipper as it did in cannon(also, Dipper has to find out about Mabel's deal with Bill))**

 **Tertiary objective:**

 **Dipper V.S. Manliness: I always thought it weird that their was no girl(be it Wendy, pacifica, Tambry, or candy, etc) during his 'man trials'. Whether to beat him at being a 'man', laugh at his loincloth(or if he loses said loincloth, make him embarrassed), be inadvertently a crucial part of his 'trial', or just along for the ride...I just think it's a story possibility that should be explored is all... I also feel that Stan's hypocrisy for badmouthing ABBA while he himself watches 'The Duchess Approves' should be explored...as well as Dipper getting mad at Mable ridiculing him after everything he's done for her,  
**

 **Carpet Diem: It always bugged me that nobody cared about Dippers leg getting chewed off by a wolf, A woodpecker biting out his tongue, or his personal belongings getting vandalized...Don't just slap a band-aid solution 'Status-Quo' approved ending on it...make Dipper mad at Mabel for putting him through all that! Have it be a long messy fight! If you make them reconcile...they BOTH have to earn it!(especially Mable)  
**

 **Summerween: Why is it so horrible for Dipper to want to celebrate Halloween his own way? True, he shouldn't of lied, but slanting the episode to put him completely in the wrong for wanting to have fun his own way...was completely unnecessary! Pleas make this episode more balanced**

 **Dreamscape: For the most part I have no complaints about the episode, but it needs to be at least addressed that Stan only 'toughens' up Dipper while letting Mable do whatever she wants. Also, could someone PLEASE tackle Gideon when he's gloating about the Deed in front of the Pines?**

 **Soos and the real girl(I don't get why Melody should have to leave, I'd rather prefer she stayed and have a sub-plot going with Soos)**

 **Blendin's Game(I mostly had no problem with this...but it always bugged me that no one did anything with the 'young Wendy thinks Dipper is cute' storyline...some assistance here would be most appreciated)(I'd also like to see Wendy's reaction to that)  
**

 **Tale of two Stans:(I'm with my fellow fanficton writers. Their should have at least been a small rift popping up between Mabel and Dipper after Mabel trusted Stan over Dipper(Especially considering she prevented Ford from killing Bill!))**

 **Stanchurian Candidate: I feel it was rather selfish for Stan to put his pride over the safety of his family, when they reveal the mind-control to him and he gets mad, lay it on home how he's being selfish and seemingly uncaring about his family!**

 **The last MabelCorn:** **I feel it was rather selfish for Mable to put her needs over the safety of her family, you can keep the 'Unicorns are selfish jerks' revelation if you want, but also lay it on home how she's being selfish and seemingly uncaring about her family!**

 **Roadside Attraction:(Recommended by Emma Iveli) If you MUST do this episode, Mable has to give Dipper more advice then just 'move on'(seriously, it's a bit weird she didn't help him more with this considering how much she loves matchmaking and knows better then anyone else how socially awkward Dipper is) And she and Grunkle Stan need to get into a big argument over who's advice is more valid. (pointing out the hypocrisy of Mable badmouthing flirting with multiple people, when she dose the same would be funny)  
**

 **Weirdmagedon: (can't think of anything...save for wanting to see a fic. where Ford's Bill-Killing Gun actually works...and Maybe some more character development/bonding between Dipper Wendy...and possibly Pacifica)(Oh, having Wendy comfort Dipper over his 'You can't make someone fall in love, you can only be worthy of love' speech would be nice too)  
**

 **Escape from Reality: JUST BURST THE BUBBLE! Especially if it's a crossover! A 22 minute story wrapped up in 5 minutes! Mabel can just deal with it!(it would also be nice if Wendy, Pacifica, or SOMEONE comforted Dipper about not getting any Valentines, also it be nice if someone reminded Wendy and Soos that their friends and family are suffering and they need to rescue them before they go gallivanting in the bubble).  
**

 **Take Back the Falls: If your doing a crossover, you HAVE to have someone from the Crossover-verse SUCCESSFULLY stop Stan from breaking the circle. By threatening him with death or dismemberment if necessary!**

 **EX: Ford: "Him and I...Grammar Stanley"**

 **Stan is about to beat him...when he feels cold steel pressed against his back**

 **Undyne: "YOU %$ #% one foot from where you are, I'll #% &$%$ kill you!"**

 **Stan gulps nervously...but stays in his place...and the cipher is complete...**

 **NOTE: to all Wendip and Dipifica fans alike...have you considered just making a water proof Tyrone and giving him to Pacifica while Dipper has Wendy? You could literally have your cake and eat it too!**

 **ANOTHER note: crossovers with gravity Falls in this challenge are accepted and encouraged! Let your imagination run wild!(But ONLY as long as you don't have the people from said crossover-verse sitting around useless and not letting them change the plot(let the above 'stop Stan from ruining the circle' be your template for ANY other moments in Gravity falls Cannon)**

 **And one more thing...I'm well aware that this might not be some people's cup of tea...so if you want to adopt ANY of my stories...or give them to a friend/acquaintance. That's fine.**

 **This dose NOT mean I'm discontinuing my stories, I'm just trying to give you more options. I will also allow multiple adoptions, so more then one person can enjoy this!**

 **Well, that's more or less it, good hunting YAH'll!**

 **P.S. just a heads up; I'm finally moving into my own place come Christmas/new years...the place is nice, affordable rent, geographically Convenient, free wi-fi...the only downside is I have to wait THREE MONTHS to get said internet set up, it'll be top quality and FREE...but I have to wait at LEAST that long for it.**

 **A friend of mine said he could get a 'hotspot' set up...but who knows what will happen there.**

 **Bottom Line: If my updates online drop off for a couple months or I won't answer your Messages...that's probably why.**

 **But regardless; merry Christmas and a happy new year!**


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